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                                        June 4, 2022                   


Reformed Christian Online Dating

By: Sarah Deringer


            As a Reformed Christian single, you have felt God’s calling to marriage and have taken all the steps to make sure you are pursuing a godly spouse and a God-glorifying marriage. You know the purpose of pursuing a godly marriage for the glory of God, and you are not afraid of committing your life to serving God side-by-side with your future spouse. Maybe your local area has a lack of candidates for marriage, so you are considering online dating. One great resource is Sovereign Grace Singles because it can enable you to meet lots of potential candidates for marriage who share a similar faith and values. When pursuing a potential spouse via online Reformed Christian Dating, consider these tips, red flags, and some great places for meeting for the first time.


            While setting up your online dating profile and talking with potential matches, consider these tips to protect yourself.


·      Pray. God knows what you need, and when you ask Him for wisdom, He gives it to you joyfully and abundantly.


James 1:5 (NASB) - “But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.”


·      Guard your heart. Do not set your heart on the first few people that you talk to because the relationship may not work out. While it seems exciting to be talking to someone online, they are a person with a family, a life, responsibilities, and difficulties too. Be understanding if they are unable to pursue marriage as quickly as you had hoped.

Proverbs 4:23 (NASB) – “Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life.”

·      Be careful what you share before you know who you are talking with. For example, do not share your home address or work address before meeting them and knowing them well. Be careful of potential information that is shared in the background of your pictures, such as location identifiers. You may be talking with someone who is not portraying themselves truthfully, so protect your information.

Proverbs 2:11 (NASB) – “Discretion will guard you, understanding will watch over you.”


            While talking with potential matches, consider asking yourself these questions to help you find any red flags and figure out whether the other person is a good match.

·      Are they asking questions that could end up being your passwords? For example, have they asked you what your favorite color is, your pet’s name, your birthplace, or any other password questions? If yes, they may be trying to hack your account or steal your information. The best way to deal with a hacker is to report them to site owner or moderator.

·      Are they talking about things that are inappropriate or sinful? For example, are they promoting something that goes against God’s Word? If yes and if you are truly looking for a godly spouse, share the Gospel with them and break off the conversation if they refuse to stop.

·      Are they pushing you to compromise your morals or beliefs? For example, are they asking you to send pictures of your body? If yes, it is best to share the Gospel with them and break off the conversation in search of someone who will not push you to disobey God.

·      Do they seem to be immature in their faith or in their life? For example, do they say they play video games frequently? If they do, are they ready to take on the responsibilities of being a spouse, or are they only focused on themselves?

·      Do they seem to talk mainly about their life problems, their poor financial situation, and have a victim mindset? For example, if they are online frequently asking for money to pay their bills, it may be that they are grifters or just looking for a shoulder to cry on rather than facing their responsibilities. It might be best to share the Gospel with them and break off the conversation.


            So, you have found a match that you have talked to and are ready to meet. Great! Consider these places to meet:


·      Church – Your local church should be high on your list of places to first meet. It is a public place with people who care about you. Your potential match can hear the Gospel and good preaching from your pastor. Your pastor and potentially your family can meet them too, which allows for a chance to make sure your beliefs truly align.

·       A local restaurant – This is a public place that also allows for good food, which will in turn allow for good conversation.

·      A local bookstore – This is a public place that allows for sharing your favorite literature, hobbies, and various topics in conversation.

·      A local park – This is a public place where you can have a picnic, go for a walk, play some games. If you have family and / or friends with you, consider renting a shelter house in the park for your festivities.

·      A Christian concert – This is a public place where you can enjoy edifying music with one another. Invite your match and some friends, family, or church family to meet you at a Christian concert.


When God calls you to marriage, obey quickly with wisdom, discernment, and grace in your interactions with potential matches. Trust God with your love story because it is part of His story for His glory.


In Christ Alone...

Sarah Deringer, an SGS Member

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