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First Name

Francois

Username

Francois

Nickname

Francois

Gender

Male

Location

Port Elizabeth, South Africa

Country

South Africa

City

Port Elizabeth

Looking for

Female, Potential Courtship, Marriage Minded

Marital Status

Divorced – grown adult children

Christian Affiliation

Reformed Churches in South Africa

Race

Caucasian

Height

6' 1"

Build

Average

Eye Color

Brown

Hair Color

Dark Brown

College /University

University of Port Elizabeth

Graduation Year

1983

Level of education

Some College

Employment

Self Employed

Occupation

I have been working in the IT environment as an IT Consultant, Business Analyst and Manager for more than 30 years.

Company

Several

Seeking Ethnicity (those I am willing to date)

Caucasian

My ideal place to live

A cabin in the woods

My view on smoking

I am a non-smoker

My view on drinking

I drink occasionally

On the subject of children

I have children and would gladly accept someone elses's, I am an empty nester

Tell us about your family. How do you feel about relocating?

Families form the building blocks of the Kingdom of God on earth. I have four grown and independent daughters that I have educated in the grace of God to the best of my ability for more than two decades.

 

In September 2020 my wife told me that she was unhappy and would like to proceed with a divorce. In October 2020 she advised me that she had formed a strong friendly relationship with another man – since September 2019. On December 7th, 2020 the court effected the divorce. On December 8th 2020 we would have been married for 30 years.

 

In those 30 years I was faithful to my wife and never looked upon or touched another woman with the intention of her taking the position of my wife.

 

My view on family and marriage has not changed over 30 years – it only grew stronger.

How old were you when you were drawn to Christ and how is your Christian walk these days?

At the age of five, God through his providence, destined an event in my life that made me realise that He was alive and real. This event and the outcome planted a seed of faith in my heart. I recall that I found myself in a fearful situation far away from people or even my parents. At that time, I called upon God to help me – and He answered my cry. He has been drawing me closer to Him ever since.

 

I can say with certainty that I am a sinner. God saved me by grace through faith – not based on my works; not based on a decision I made; not by my choice nor by my will. I have only one explanation for the faith that lives in my heart today – God must have written my name in the Book of Life before the foundations of the earth were laid – based on his grace alone – the grace which John Newton called “amazing grace.”

 

The theme that I have been studying over the past three years may be summarised in the words of Hebrews 12:6, “For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth.” The Lord’s chastening over decades only served to strengthen the blessed assurance that he indeed loves me – a hell-deserving sinner.

 

Every trial that God ever destined over my path drew me closer to Him. I can only say like David, “Because thou hast been my help, therefore in the shadow of thy wings will I rejoice.” (Ps 63:7).

How have the Doctrines of Grace changed or affected your life?

I wholeheartedly subscribe to the three Forms of Unity as well as the Westminster Confession of Faith – as they most accurately reflect biblical truth – in a systematic way. I wholeheartedly subscribe to the Five Canons of Dort (known as the Doctrines of Grace) – informally referred to as TULIP.

 

As a human being dead in my sins, I never made a decision or choice regarding my eternal salvation. By his will through his grace he saved me from eternal damnation, because – as I learned along the way – he must have written my name in the Book of Life before the foundations of the earth were laid. He died an effective death for every elect sinner – including me. At the age of five he captured my heart and drew me to him. The only knowledge greater than the assurance of faith he planted in my heart is the assurance that he will lead me home. No matter what perseverance may be required to complete the journey – he initiated the journey – he will complete the journey.

 

I understand that the Regulative Principle of Worship is the only way in which man may approach and worship God – without offending God. God prescribes in his Word how his worshippers should worship Him – it is not up to man to invent means and devices through which he may worship God. The Westminster Confession of Faith states, “But the acceptable way of worshipping the true God is instituted by Himself, and so limited by His own revealed will, that He may not be worshipped according to the imaginations and devices of men, or the suggestions of Satan, under any visible representation, or any other way not prescribed in the holy Scripture.” (WCF Chapter 21 Section 1b).

 

I reject any form of human invention brought into the worship of God, for example, the singing of any song apart from the inspired Psalms. I reject the use of musical instruments in the worshipping of God (under the New Testament dispensation). I reject the celebration of Christmas and Easter – as there is no scripture warrant for the celebration of these holy days (which were introduced into Protestant churches by the Roman Catholic church).

 

Reproducing and building a family in marriage is taught by the Word of God. “Be ye fruitful and multiply” is not an option for a God-fearing man and woman in marriage. God opens the womb and God closes the womb. Therefore, I reject any form of birth control (contraception, sterilisation, abortion) as it is an abomination in the eyes of God (Genesis 38). Obviously, starting a family with a lady of more or less my age – who may no longer be fruitful – may not be humanly possible. That will be perfectly understandable. (I emphasise that there are circumstances allowed by God through his grace and mercy under which birth control may be legitimate in his eyes – in the same way that killing someone in self-defence is not a violation of the sixth commandment).

 

Wearing or displaying any sign that resembles Christendom (for example a cross) was not instituted by God and may lead to superstition and should therefore be avoided – as it will ultimately lead to a second commandment violation – which takes our eyes off the Author and Finisher of our faith.

 

There are dozens of references in the Word of God to clothing. Clothing may likely be the clearest testimony – in the life of a person who professes to believe in Christ – that he/she actually believes the Doctrines of Grace. And this may be even more pertinent in the life of a lady – as the woman on earth (through marriage) forms a parallel with the Bride of Christ – which is the church. Clothing in fact resembles Christ’s salvation of his Bride – “he hath clothed me with the garments of salvation, he hath covered me with the robe of righteousness.” (Isa 61:10). Clothing signifies that we have been covered in Christ’s righteousness and not our own fig-leave righteousness (our own attempts to merit salvation in the eyes of God).

 

Remembering the sabbath (changed to the Day of the Lord – first day – in the New Testament dispensation) is another way in which a person confirms that they believe the Doctrines of Grace. “There remaineth therefore a rest to the people of God. For he that is entered into his rest, he also hath ceased from his own works, as God did from his.” (Heb 4:9 & 10). By resting from our normal duties on the Day of the Lord, and indulging in worshipping God, and spending time in his Word, we testify that we have indeed entered his rest – by completely resting from our own works.

 

The Word of God teaches the baptism of children. Parents who have their children baptised, acknowledge that salvation is only possible through the bath of rebirth as destined by God. Therefore, baptism is not an assurance that a child has been, or will be saved – God predestined salvation of his own sovereign will.

 

The Word of God teaches the use of communion by believers who have confessed their faith in Christ as their Saviour – and serves to renew man’s focus on the works of Christ on the cross at Calvary.

 

The Bible teaches an eschatology of victory – based on the promises of God as reflected in Micah 4:1-4, Ps 72:8, and many other places. This is referred to as Postmillennialism. God may soon send the unprecedented world-wide reform (the Millennium of Christ’s reign from heaven) he promised – to churches throughout the world, and we may likely witness the time when the majority of the nations and kingdoms of the world will bow to the lordship of the Lord Jesus Christ and serve and worship Him until the time of his second coming after the Millennium.

 

The present world events may likely be the beginning of the three and a half years of the silencing of the gospel – before the gospel will be poured out like a flood on the earth. How I long for the dawn of that day!

 

The purpose of understanding the Doctrines of Grace has never been to serve as a display of man’s knowledge or superiority in any form, but serves only to humble us and reject our own righteousness (our attempts at meriting our own salvation) and draw us closer to the Lamb of God, and serve him in greater obedience (which is the joyful result of salvation – not the cause), and ultimately seek to promote the glorious gospel of God’s salvation of hell-deserving sinners (like myself).

Do you have a "Quiet Time?" What are you studying?

I have been reading the Word of God since 1968 when my father gave me my own Bible. Throughout my life I have attempted to read and pray twice a day – morning and evening.

 

Yes, there were many times that this was just a cold and mechanical process that appeared to be futile and meaningless. But looking back today I realise that those were the times that David referred to in the Psalms as the dark night of the soul. During those seemingly dark and meaningless nights God forms the heart of man like silver in a furnace of fire.

 

Although often painful and seemingly futile – those dark nights are the times when God engraves his Word ever more indelibly in the heart of man with the purpose of making him rely more on God and less on himself.

 

The verses that have inspired me over decades must amount to thousands. I do, however, always attempt to gain insight into the bigger picture of the Bible and not only to understand and love verses in isolation. (Understanding and falling in love with verses in isolation (initially) is certainly an important step in the lifelong process of learning to love and understand the Word of God.)

 

The theme that I have been studying over the past three years may be described in the words of Hebrews 12:6, “For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth.”

Who is your favorite Biblical Character and why?

This is an unfair question.

 

Every believer in the Word of God (and outside) has always been a favourite character of mine. But I will be a sport and name one special character. A young man by the name of Stephen – full of faith and the Holy Spirit. (Acts 6 & 7).

 

I doubt that we will be able to find a person who has more deliberately contributed to his own death (humanly speaking) than this young Stephen. All he did was speaking the truth in love – without compromise – in the face of certain death.

 

What a humbling sight to see such faith, and longing to be in the eternal presence of his saviour, in the life of a young man.

Are you content being single? Why? If not, why?

Since my youth I was aware of the need for a companion to accompany me through life. I am one of those men God had in mind when he said, “it is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” (Gen 2:18).

 

Should God want me to be content being single – he will have to change my heart – and I say this with the greatest respect.

 

Am I rebellious and impatient about being single? No, I understand that even this trial works together for good.

What are four qualities your friends would attribute to you?

Kind-hearted

Gentle

Good listener

Logical

Analytical

What are three things you are most thankful for?

1. The salvation of a hell-deserving sinner – myself.

2. Physical copies of the Word of God in several languages.

3. The likelihood that we may witness the dawn of the Millenium in our lifetime.

Describe the character and personality traits you enjoy in another person? What are yours?

A gracious, kind, gentle and adventurous lady with a good sense of humour and an honest commitment to stay faithful to God and the marriage vow even amid hardship. I am not looking for a romantic relationship outside of marriage, but marriage that will lead to a precious and lifelong romance. So, yes, that means I’m looking for a romantic lady.

 

I cannot imagine entering a marriage relationship with someone who does not love God and the truth of his Word with her whole heart, soul and mind.

 

Above all, I am looking for a God-fearing lady with a heart for reform – with a yearning to return to the true worship of the Almighty God – through the ordinances instituted by himself – and not through the commandments of men. Because this is the only way that God can be worshipped not in vain. (Mat 15:9).

 

I have more or less the same character and personality traits as I described above. I am a good listener and a gentle and kind-hearted man who loves the Word of God, yearn for reform, love the warmth of companionship, and above all – treasure being of one mind in Christ with my lifelong companion.

Other than your parents, who has been the most influential person in your life and how?

The Reformers and Puritans brought clarity to the Word of God in a way that I could not find elsewhere on earth.

 

I describe the influence it had and still has on my life under the paragraph of the Doctrines of Grace and for brevity sake will rather not repeat it here.

What contributed to your previous relationship/marriage ending?

In September 2020 my wife told me that she was unhappy and would like to proceed with a divorce. She stated that she knew that divorce was not the Christian or Biblical thing to do, but she nevertheless wanted to proceed with the divorce.

 

In October 2020 she revealed to me that she had formed a strong friendly relationship with another man – since September 2019.

 

I requested my wife several times – verbally and in writing – to reconsider. Even our four daughters made several attempts to persuade their mother not to proceed – all to no avail.

 

I explained to my wife that she made herself guilty of adultery (even without a sexual relationship), because Christ said that even if we only LOOKED upon another party in an inappropriate manner, we made ourselves guilty of committing adultery.

 

The Westminster Confession of Faith states, “In the case of adultery after marriage, it is lawful for the innocent party to sue out a divorce and, after the divorce, to marry another, as if the offending party were dead.” (WCF Chapter 24, Section 5b).

 

As an innocent party to a divorce the Bible teaches that I am in a position to marry again. (Please note that being innocent does not imply being without sin).

How long have you been on your own since and what did you to do get through it?

I have been on my own since December 7th, 2020.

 

Throughout the legal proceedings I reassured my four daughters that all things work together for good to them that love God. Through every trial God has destined on my path, this truth proved to be faithful.

Favorite lines from movies, poems, songs, hymns or Scripture you would like to tell us about?

From the movie, Chicken Run – “I told you they was organized.”

 

From the pen of Bertrand Russell, the author of the book, Why I am not a Christian: “Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.”

 

From The Little Red Book by Mao Tse-tung, the father of Communist China, “Everything under heaven is in utter chaos; the situation is excellent.” (uuuhhm, this sounds eerily familiar in 2021).

 

From the pen of John Owen, the Prince of the Puritans, “We do not have the ability in ourselves to accomplish the least of God’s tasks. This is the law of grace.”

 

From the song by Augustus Toplady, Rock of Ages (1775), the third verse reads, “Nothing in my hand I bring, simply to thy cross I cling.”

 

From the precious Word of God, “For I know that my redeemer liveth.” (Job 19:25).

What type of work do/did you do?

I have worked in the IT environment as an IT Consultant, Business Analyst and several managerial positions.

How long have you been/were you in that line of work? Do/you enjoy it?

I have been in the IT field for more than 30 years. I enjoyed the technical aspects of IT. Due to politics in the corporate environment, I found the managerial aspects of IT less enjoyable.

Do you have any life-long goals? What are they?

To grow in the knowledge of God, and closer to the heart of God every day of my life – with my lifelong companion.

Where were you born and where have you traveled?

I was born in Bloemfontein in South Africa.

I currently live in Port Elizabeth in South Africa.

I have only travelled to Mozambique – a neighbouring country of South Africa.

How do you enjoy your leisure time? What do you do for recreation?

I like hiking, sailing, boat-building, swimming, astronomy and photography.

I love music and play the guitar, banjo and mandolin, but not well – for my pleasure (and my ears) only.

I like the sea and the mountains a lot.

Is there anything that the questionnaire didn’t cover?

For what it is worth, I include my political views here:

 

I subscribe to the biblical principle of Theocracy – where the government of each nation on earth rule their nation according to the law of God – as opposed to the law of man (Democracy).

 

I am a nationalist. I understand from the Word of God that there cannot be something like a rainbow nation, because God separated the peoples of the earth. The current attempts by the powers of the world to extinguish all boundaries between peoples and nations are futile, and a revived attempt at uniting all peoples on earth against God to once again rebel against Him – like Nimrod.

 

I love every people and nation on earth as much as I love my own people and I acknowledge the fact that we are different and that each nation by God’s decree has their own rightful place under the sun.

About Me

I am a gentle and kindhearted man of 59 looking for a gracious, gentle, kind, adventurous and God-fearing lady to accompany me through life – building the Kingdom of God one day at a time – until death do us part.

 

I have elaborated a lot about myself in the answers to the other questions, but I am willing to answer any further questions that may arise.

My Interests

I like hiking, sailing, boat-building, swimming, astronomy and photography.

I love music and play the guitar, banjo and mandolin, but not well – for my pleasure (and my ears) only.

I like the sea and the mountains a lot.

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