Looking for a Christian spouse can be a tall order these days. This is especially true for Calvinist Christians singles. Finding a godly spouse who shares your doctrinal commitments in an age when many professing Christians put more emphasis on feelings and narrows the already narrow field.
Don’t despair. Remember that Calvinist Christian singles remember that the sovereign God is sovereign over all things, including their future spouse. This doesn’t matter that is all on you. Always remember to pray for the Lord to bless you with a godly spouse.
Be careful not to expect perfection. Many people today (not just Christians) set the bar so high that no one can possibly meet it. Be realistic in your expectations while exercising discernment. Here are a few things to consider when evaluated a potential spouse.
Are the fruits of the spirit evident?
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.” -Galatians 5:22-23
Just because someone a Calvinist Christian single doesn’t necessarily mean they are living for the Lord. Look for the fruits of the Spirit. They should be evident in any potential spouse.
Is this person faithful to their local church?
It matters little that someone is a Calvinist Christian single if they are not faithfully living out their faith within the God-ordained sphere of the local church. Someone may hold to sound doctrine but fail to actually live it out. A “churchless Christian” is a major red flag.
Can I grow with this person? Will she follow me or can I submit it to this person?
While you should never think you can change a person’s glaring faults, you should be able to discern whether or not they would make a good fit. If you are a man, ask yourself, will this woman follow me? Does she understand Biblical submission? If a woman asks, do I want to follow this man?
Perhaps another way to look at this is to ask yourself whether or not the prospect of fulfilling the Biblical role as husband or wife to this person is desirable to you. Go to your church elders and ask their counsel on the matter.
How is this person with money?
Does this person manage their money well? How are they with debt? Questions of financial stewardship, while unexciting for most, are critical as few things are as practical as money. Foolish financial habits are among the biggest causes of marital woe. Someone may be a Calvinist, a Christian, and single, but self-inflicted financial devastation doesn’t commend someone as a good future spouse.
Does this person like to talk about spiritual things?
Does this person enjoy talking about the things of God or are they uncomfortable when you bring up the Bible? A person who doesn’t enjoy talking about the truth, may not be particularly interested in it.
Another thing to note is how well they are versed in Biblical matters compared with the time they have been walking with the Lord. A person claiming to have been a Christian for years, but is ignorant of the Bible and Christian theology may be that way because they aren’t interested enough in such things.
Someone can say that is a Calvinist Christian single, but are they really?
Let’s not close on a negative note. If you’ve found someone where the fruits of the Spirit are evident, loves their local church, is a pleasure to be with, who loves to talk about the things of Christ, and understands their calling as a Christian man or woman…these are all positive indicators of a good match–assuming these things are true of you as well.